Number 3 -- never allow a significant difference to develop in how you express love or enforce discipline. Now, this
is the good cop/bad cop thing. And this
comes into extremes. Your children need both of you to be affectionate with
them. And your children need both of you
to discipline them. And sometimes the man, at a certain age, has to be the one
that enforces the discipline. Ok, just simply for size or whatever it is. But
you both are empowered to discipline, and you both support each other in discipline.
But the horrible thing is when one parent
is a goof-off, the other parent has to become more stern in order to
bring a balance in a family ( raising children).
When one spouse is out of control, the other spouse will go
the opposite extreme to gain control. If you're a spendthrift, I’m going to rat-hole money. But we're not
unified. If you're a goof-off and you're too fun and you're too permissive with the kids, then I’m going to have to be more stern and be the disciplinarian. And what happens is, because now I’m
the disciplinarian, I’m not able to show the affection. You've robbed me
of the ability to show the affection that I would show, because now I’ve got to
be the disciplinarian. Come together and make this commitment. Children need
affection from their mother and father. You don't make the woman the
affectionate person or the man the affection person, say, well, you're sweeter
than me and you're more affectionate and natural than me, you give kids the
affection ( raising children).
Their sexual and emotional development is very, very tied to
the affection and attention they get from both sexes. Both sexes. So they both
need you to affirm them verbally and be affectionate. And they both need you to express discipline both in
healthy ways as a united front. Don't get into the good cop/bad cop thing. And
if you're into that, come together and talk and make that agreement that says, we're both going to love these kids and we're both going to discipline these kids, because if we don't, we're going to go to polarities, and our children become the casualties. It confuses those children. They need two
parents loving each other and getting along ( raising children).
This is Adam Norman, a 30-year-old father and a journalist. I consider being a father as my full-time duty, which comes before my actual job of journalism. As a father, there will always be new challenges for me to face everyday while raising my kids. This is where the idea of this website came from. I wanted to give out my experience, along with the experience of others, to all parents out there who need an advice with raising their kids.
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