Successful Marriage, Successful Children part 2

Number two principle is, unity is essential. You have to be unified. If you're divided against yourself, your house  can't stand. So in parenting,  you always present a united  front. These are  practices of  unity. Let me just give you  points here. Number one, always present a united front to your children, and never let your children divide you. When you're a parent, we're a two-headed monster, and you'll never deal with one head. So when they come up and they say, "can i go to the movies with my friends?" "well, let me talk to your mother." Ok now, if it's a simple decision, that's fine. But what my wife and I would do is go in our room  by ourselves when our children typically were in bed and we would sit down and sometimes we would argue. So we would represent the kids to each other, always knowing that our marriage was more important than our children ( raising children).
So at the end of the conversation, we would say, this is what we're going to do, right? We would walk out, they didn't know anything about the conversation, only thing  they knew was mom and dad was a two-headed monster. You're going to get both of us and we're both saying exactly the same thing. But what does that say to kids? You know, you're divided at that point. We are unified on  everything that we do.
Number  two, always honor each other  in front of your children  and make your children honor  your spouse. You shall never  disrespect each other in front of your children. So if I’m sitting there, you know, in the living room and I would hear my daughter, for example,  disrespect my wife, I never make my wife defend herself. I'd say, oh, no, you don't talk to your mother that way. Unity means what you do to her, you did to me. Division means you can pick on them all day long and I’m just going to sit here and watch it. I'm just a spectator ( raising children).
 When i heard a tone in their voice, anything like that, I would get up and I'd  walk in there and say, you don't talk to your mother that way. You apologize to your mother. And they knew, you pick a fight with her, you got a fight with dad. And the same was true of my wife. And so always honor your spouse--if you have something to say, you say it behind closed doors. But don't put each other down when your kids are around, don't be sarcastic, don't be demeaning--because,  if you do, the kids will pick up  on that, and they're going  to do the same thing. So always  honor each other ( raising children).

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